Maybe its not always yes or no The power of uncertainty

Maybe its not always yes or no The power of uncertaintyMaybe its not always yes or no The power of uncertaintyWe often hear we should learn to say no instead of waffling. Then again, there are books and guides and apps for people intent on embracing the notion of saying yes to everything that comes their way.Whether youre too agreeable, or overly disagreeable, it might be time to embrace somedistributionspolitik in the middle and give yurself the gift of maybe.Allison Carmen quite literally wrote a book on the topic, The Gift of Maybe in which she finds hope in neither yes nor no.Carmen spoke with Ladders about some of the reasons she believes that uncertainty will actually add some peace to your life.Make sure youre ready to respondTheres nothing wrong with yes and theres nothing wrong with no- but were you ready to say that? asked Carmen. She believes People are afraid of uncertainty and they think not knowing is bad. Carmen explained that sometimes we really dont know what might h appen, but we tend to project that things cant get better. Just because you dont know which way something will go, doesnt mean it wont be in your favor. Sometimes its okay to wait and see what happens before committing one way or another.Uncertainty can be goodCarmen reminds us Most people forget that theres a period of time where not knowing allows you to sit with something and be curious. If you adopt a wait and see attitude, things might swing in your favor. And then something happens and then youre sure of what you should be doing, Carmen says. Uncertainty is good. If life is uncertain that means life can change. If you dont like whats happening today, you might have better luck tomorrow, she adds. Also, if you have the answer youll be able to better figure out where youre going. Its not about direction, its about making the best choices for our lives, Carmen said.Have you given it enough thought?Some people jump on the immediate yes or definitive no without actually puzzling th rough a situation. Carmen believes those decisions can be born out of fear, in many cases, fear of the unknown. Fear makes us say yes or no too quickly. Sometimes its the right answer, she says. Then again, The idea of maybe allows you to cut the fear. Life is full of these uncertain possibilities. So instead of jumping to a response either way, ask yourself Have I thought about it enough? Carmen believes that allows you to sit in that open space until youre ready to make that decision.Dont write your storyCarmen offers the example that most people write their life stories and have certain expectations. Maybe they think theyll have X number of dollars in the bank by the time they hit 50, or a perfect spouse or home. The truth is though, life rarely turns out the way we think. We never knew how this was going to work out. We just made up these stories Carmen said. And in some instances, maybe can be a calming factor- it was for her. Maybe leaves me open. It quiets the fear and allows me to end up in the unknown until I can figure it out, she said. Besides, if you dont limit yourself to either yes or no, theres endless possibility around the corner.If youre worried about seeming wishy-washy, here are some tips for embracing more maybeDont use maybe as a crutch If youre coming from a place of fear where youre avoiding what you want to do, then its a crutch. If youre making a decision clouded by fear- its all the same Carmen adds. If were afraid that something wont work out, its the fear not the maybe.Be clear Dont leave people hanging. Carmen says I think you have to be clear. If youre not sure if you want a job offered to you, explain why you might need time to respond. Carmen says you can offer something like This sounds great but I have to consider certain things in my life. Dont leave it open-ended, give them a timeline when theyll have your response one way or another.Dont avoid a yes or no If youre using maybe to avoid a situation, its a cop-out. If instead , youre opening up to allow yourself to see what life might have in store for you, youre on the right track. Carmen said Maybe seems like a simple word, but it reminds you that the uncertainty means that life can change. Maybe it can work out.